Be the Loving Mother you Need
Last week I encouraged you to let Beltane season lure out your sacred desires, and to let it unravel the ways in which you believe you aren’t worthy of beauty, love, desire, or pleasure. (Read it here in case you missed it.)
This is not necessarily an “easy” task if you’ve taken on the conditioning that says you have to do more to be successful, lovable, or worthy. Or that to be “good” you can’t have needs, or that you must stray away from your deeper inner truth in order to please others around you.
I see a lot of clients who have deviated from their deeper Self out of obligation or conditioning, whether societal, familial or due to a specific trauma.
I see how this manifests in the body as pain, tension, anxiety, depression, digestive issues, or any other array of symptoms.
The symptoms are often individual, but the pattern I witness over and over again is that the fear of being authentic to the Self causes tumult in the body.
When we continually squash the organic energy that wants to move through us, that IS US, we create chaos and confusion in our energy.
It’s understandable that we do this. When I connect with people’s tissue I often encounter true terror when there’s the invitation to soften their vigilance, or allow flow where there hasn’t been.
The story that I most often feel held in the body is that they are not safe.
(And this can absolutely be exacerbated by current events, where we feel, viscerally, the real danger that our human kin are experiencing).
When I feel deeper into the stories in the tissue, they are often dire.
To the body it feels as if they will be killed. Or they will be rejected or humiliated by their family or community; cast off and left to die.
To our bodies, rejection by our people activates the same primal fear as being killed. Rejection from community in our ancestral reality meant death. And to our bodies, it still does.
So, for example, the stories may say, "if I open my throat chakra to speak my truth; if I let myself soften into connection with the Earth, to feel held; if I bring my precious energy back to my center and away from the vigilance that’s in my neck or shoulders, I will die…"
Or even, "if I follow what feels authentic to myself, I will die."
At least, that’s how it truly feels to the body.
(So no wonder your shoulders don't want to soften!)
This is REAL. A real feeling and story that lives in the tissue, regardless of it you think it’s crazy or weird or doesn’t seem plausible to the conscious mind.
This is not something you can think your way out of. This is deep. Body deep. Soul deep.
It can take time to navigate through the unconscious stories within us.
And it takes patience, presence, love, and curiosity to be with ourselves and the stories that live within us. (Again, something we practice at depth in the Golden Stone Immersion)
But one thing you can practice right now, is invoking the Mother archetype to hold these parts of yourself in love.
We can turn towards these parts of ourselves that experience fear, anger, or grief, and surround these parts with the love and nurturance of a Mother or Grandmother. We can choose to Mother ourselves exactly as we need in any given moment.
PRACTICE: Imagine whatever the strong emotion or sensation you feel in your body as a little child, a young version of you. Hold them in your arms. As you simultaneously feel their pain, you also are soothing them, with the exact words you need to hear. Call yourself sweetie. Tell yourself you’re here. It amazing how comforting this is.
If you'd like support in the process:
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