10 ways to resource yourself when times feel hard

Many of my clients came in with big things this past week. Not only with intensity in their personal lives, but also feeling so much for the collective. It’s so important to really prioritize resourcing ourselves right now, so we can take good care of ourselves and one another. ​

Below is a list of things I do for myself that help me steady, ground, connect, and remember relationship with the loving and living world around me when things feel rocky. May they serve you as well.

1) Slow down. Let yourself feel. Let yourself rest. When things feel hard, we often want to speed up in haste and hurry. We want to try and do whatever we can to alleviate our suffering or the suffering of the world. Yes, actions are important, and yet, if we haven’t allowed ourselves to tend to the feelings of what our body is experiencing, we will be more likely to act out of wounding or reactivity. This arguably isn’t as supportive as if you come from a place of resource and aligned response (of course, this is only if you’re not in acute crisis). If we don't give ourselves the care and rest that we need, we will burn out and not be as helpful to the situation. As Bayo Akomolafe says in his beautiful essay, “The time is very urgent – we must slow down.” (Highly recommend the read).

2) Sit with an elder tree. Find a tree that is most likely older than you. Press yourself against their truck. Let yourself be held by them. Feel their support, and let your body relax into them, one breath at a time. Listen with your body and your soul to their beingness, and what they want to share with you.

3) Listen to this free meditation to connect with a tree ally for support.

4) Connect with the Elements. Feel the wind on your skin and the breath moving through your lungs. Feel the sun on your face, or light a candle in prayer. Go visit moving water and let it soothe and cleanse you, or feel the cleansing power of a shower or the soothing power of a bath. Put your bare feet or hands on the earth and know that you’re held. Or curl up in blankets and allow yourself to rest in a cozy, dark cave. Remember that you are made up of the elements and the earth lives within you.

(I'm inspired to open up an old course, Embodying the Elements, for a limited time. This course is a bonus for my Golden Stone Immersion students, but it's now available for you if you want to be fed by the medicine that the elements provide.)

5) Free write. This is so supportive for me when my mind won’t stop spinning about a situation. Let yourself pour onto paper anything and everything. Don’t take your pen off the paper, and write until you feel emptied out. ​

6) Connect with a wider source of wisdom. One of my favorite ways to do this is again, by free-writing, but this time start with, “Dear Universe (or Dear Love, or Dear God/dess, or Dear Divine) what would you have me know today?” Then, get out of your own way and just start writing. Let yourself receive the wisdom from your wisest, most whole-self that is always connected to Oneness or Love. Recently, Liz Gilbert has made this practice popular, but this is a long-standing, tried-and-true exercise that helps you connect with a source of divinity (or your higher self) for insight. You might also lean into prayer at your altar, meditation, vocalizing/sounding, your tarot cards, runes, or other ways you like to tap into a wider knowing.

7) Talk to yourself and your tender parts. When you’re feeling something big, turn towards yourself with love. Put your hands on your heart and tell yourself something along the lines of “I’m here with you, sweetie. I know this is hard, but I’m here. I got you. We will get through this together. I love you so much. Is there anything you need from me right now?”​

8) Resource yourself with touch. Reach out to another human, snuggle up with a pet, or give loving touch to yourself. Linger in a hug, or wrap your arms around yourself. Ask someone hold your feet, or hold your own. Squeeze your neck, slowly press down through your thighs, and squeeze your arms.

9) Shake your body. When our nervous system is activated, we most likely need to bring in movement in order to move through it, whether it’s the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response you're experiencing. Stand in place, and start to bounce your knees. Bring the shake in through your shoulders, arms, head, and whole body. Let it move up and out your voice, vocalizing any sounds that want to come out. Do this for at least 2 minutes straight, up to 10 minutes.

​​10) Find glimmers of joy, hope or gratitude. Moments of joy are essential during hard times. What goodness can you still see in the world? Let your perception widen. Go outside and observe the birds, the flowers, or the waters. Dance to your favorite song. Laugh and play with an animal or a loved one. Be in the presence of children. Or watch funny animal videos or funny things kids say online. (I will seek out time with my 2 yr old niece who always brings me into a joyful presence.)

It is my deepest prayer that these ideas can be with you and your loved ones now. If you're needing more in-depth support, you can always book a session with me.